My Relationships as a Neurodiverse Young Adult

By Stephanie Zhou, Student, CLE Costa Mesa

Hello! My name is Stephanie Zhou. I am currently 22 years old and I go to CLE Costa Mesa. I am honored to write for CLE’s newsletter on neurodiversity, as I am very much a special snowflake who wants to tell her story. In this article I would like to give a window to the nature of my relationships as a neurodiverse young adult. I think my relationships are one of my biggest accomplishments at CLE.

I have always been a quaint person. My Notes app on my iPhone is full of memes I wrote about me and my friends. And my camera roll is full of “Third Wheeling” selfies I took with a couple from my center.

Being this kind of eccentric person has led to many struggles. Growing up, it was difficult for me to converse with others. I just felt that everyone’s conversations were boring, and that all of their hobbies were boring. What I really didn’t get was small talk. I didn’t understand why people would just state things that happened to them without adding insightful commentary. I had only one or two friends throughout elementary school to high school. And even them I talked to fairly briefly.

When I came to CLE in August 2015, I was still a hermit. And I didn’t feel like giving the students a chance because I already felt bored by them and I couldn’t relate. However, eventually, due to prolonged exposure, as well as the fact CLE was a small community, I started opening up. What I found was that I could use humor to bond with all sorts of different people. It was this method of humor that enable me to develop a lot of relationships at CLE.

Most of the time after sessions, I like to hang out in my apartment and I invite people over a few times during the week. During my parent-student meetings, staff say that every student at CLE loves me and I’m very well-liked. But it is not just students that I have these precious moments with, it’s also staff. When I go to the center on weekdays, I like to float around and chat with staff. These interactions with staff have helped me develop my emotional maturity.

Going from being so lonely just a few years ago, to having all these friends is crazy for me. My neurodiversity plays a role in the humor and mood of these relationships and I am very proud of that.