By Dr. Jenna Wilson, Clinical Director, CLE Fort Lauderdale

“I know from my own experience that there is much more to ‘intelligence’ than an IQ number. In fact, I hesitate to believe that any system could really reflect the complexity and uniqueness of one person’s mind, or meaningfully describe the nature of his or her potential.”
– Daniel Tammet

Learning to socialize at CLE Fort Lauderdale

Sometimes even mentioning the word “Socialize” can cause stress and discomfort for students. Other students become energized and excited upon hearing the same word. Here at CLE Fort Lauderdale, we include many social engagement opportunities for our students in hopes of helping them navigate all different types of relationships within various situations. Throughout the week we also encourage students to attend their group and individual appointments to manage their social struggles and also to explore the social strengths they already possess or would like to build.

So, I decided to ask the students that I work with, “What are some of the most important social skills you have learned when socializing with others?”

Be Yourself – There is no other human being who is exactly like you. Your unique personality and habits are what make you, you! Being yourself comes across as authentic and genuine when interacting with others. If you try to be someone you are not, it may seem like you are pretending or being “fake” with others, even if that is not your intention.

Be Kind – Kindness goes a long way! Being polite and nice to others not only creates a warm and friendly vibe but also demonstrates your ability to care and be thoughtful and considerate of other people. Everyone wants a friend who is kind!

Be Patient – Be patient with yourself and others. Making friends and socializing may not happen right away. Give yourself time and give people time to get to know you and become more social with you. Practicing being patient will not only help with social engagements but is useful throughout life in general.

Be Forgiving – It’s important to be forgiving with others. As human beings, we all make mistakes and if you want your peers to be forgiving with you when you mess up then it’s crucial for you to also be forgiving of them. Treat others the way you want to be treated.

Stay Optimistic – While its difficult to be optimistic or positive all of the time, it’s important to be able to see and understand the positives in situations. Generally, people like to

socialize with individuals who make attempts to maintain an optimistic or positive outlook on life. A positive attitude and a smile speak volumes when in social situations!

Take the Initiative – Sometimes, even though it may feel uncomfortable or make you feel nervous, it can be helpful to take the initiative and invite someone to get together or hang out. Begin by discussing your hobbies or interests but be sure to ask about their interests as well. Once you have taken that initial step, make sure to keep those plans and follow through with the social interaction and event, if one was planned.

Love Yourself – You’ve probably heard the saying, you must love yourself first before you love anyone else. Loving yourself doesn’t mean you have to be 100% happy with everything about you but it does mean that even though there may be some areas you’d like to improve on, you still love yourself and cherish who you are. This is important because when we treat ourselves with love and compassion, we are teaching others how to treat us too.

Start Small – Taking small steps into putting yourself in social situations is OK! Gently encouraging yourself to be more social can be scary but it’s often useful to step outside your comfort zone and challenge yourself occasionally. If the social interaction does not go as planned, don’t worry and don’t get discouraged. Dust yourself off and try again. Socializing takes lots of practice!