Letting Go and Holding On

A Parent’s Perspective on Transition and Transformation

by Denise Cameron

Frequently I find myself reflecting on Autism and how it has formed me into the person I am today. I didn’t choose to walk this journey; but I was indeed selected to raise this beautiful boy of mine. I can see the transformations in myself that are all positive changes.

Each transition of Chris’s life always produced an enormous amount of stress for me. At times, that’s all that would occupy my mind. I often would get very attached to his teachers, to the extent that I would be fearful for him to move on to the next grade level. I never thought the new teacher would understand him or care for him. Always to my amazement, they seemed to be even more exceptional.

Now what?

When Chris was a junior in high school, I began to worry once again because Chris was ready to make a major transition! What would he do after high school? What was the next step for this last adjustment? It was crucial that I start planning for his next transition.

I met with Chris’ teacher and case manager, presenting all my concerns for Chris’s future. During our discussion, the teacher reached in her desk drawer and pulled out a brochure for College Living Experience! That same day I was on the telephone querying about this program. I knew deep in my heart this was the answer to Chris’s next step following high school. He would have a unique chance to create an independent life that he could one day call his own.

How do you spell RELIEF?

Comprehending that Chris would soon have that opportunity to begin building his independence was a sense of comfort for me. I am no longer worrying about preparing for his future. Over time I was able to adapt and hand the responsibility over to Chris and CLE. They would teach the skills needed for his success.

Chris has successfully survived living on his own for over a year. He has grown in so many ways. He has begun to build a community of friends and he is exploring different areas of job development. I believe Chris has the desire and ability to continue this throughout his life.

With the assistance of CLE I now have a feeling of relief! I have been able to relieve the everyday pressure in regards to Chris’s needs. I can experience my days with few worries.

Getting back to MY life

I now have the opportunity to take responsibility concerning my health and whole being. Some of my days I do spontaneous activities, such as taking a long walk with my husband, free of worrying about Chris’s needs at home. I might enjoy different activities with my other adult children, or possibly even going out to a movie with a close friend. That has always been my preferred way of enjoying life, but it is not the typical day when you have a child in the Autism Spectrum.

Soon I’ll be ready to volunteer and commit more of my available time in new areas of interest such as theater and forming new friendships.

Where he belongs

Chris and I have worked together to find his correct path. With his perseverance and my faith, he is accomplishing this goal of independence. Our family will forever be grateful that CLE was there to support us on this last transition.

At the finish of every day, I feel peace knowing that Chris is where he belongs.