Tips for Getting Your Child to Socialize

By Angela Grosso-Burke, Clinical Director, CLE Denver

The summer months bring fresh opportunities for engaging with the community, exploring the outdoors, and expanding social experiences. Unfortunately, the summer heat can also serve as a detour for getting outside. Rather than letting the heat be a barrier, use the heat as a tool to promote engaging in extraordinary activities. Examples of this include: going to the pool/beach/lake, wading in a creek, going fishing, going on a hike that ends with a dip, having a water fight, facilitating a water balloon toss with family or neighbors, or doing a scavenger hunt around the city that ends at everyone’s favorite ice cream shop.

Additional tips for getting your child to socialize

Talk through social interactions: Whether venturing out into the community or having people over at the house, talk through expectations for social interactions. Helping your child learn how to socialize by talking about possible social experiences will help decrease anxiety and give them a sense of curiosity and mastery over time.
Model healthy social behaviors: Children are always watching. By modeling healthy social interactions, asking questions, reflectively listening, and transitioning out of conversations, it helps your child feel prepared for navigating their own social relationships.
Give choices that support the goal of socialization: Asking your child if he or she wants to go to the pool can only lead to a yes or no answer. If the answer is no, you may find yourself stacking on more questions, or trying to entice your child to change their mind, putting you in a challenging position. Experiment with giving choices that lead to a social experience for your child. For example, “Do you want to invite (friend) or (family member) to the pool with us today?” This gives your child the opportunity to make a choice, while also promoting social interaction and physical activity. Now, if your child truly hates the pool, you’ll want to use this strategy with activities that are more enjoyable. Example: “Should we get ice cream before or after we go to the park?” Either way, you’re going to the park.
Spread out the fun: Be mindful of marathon days that may set your child up to fail. While many working parents live for the weekends, a Saturday morning hike followed by going to the pool and attending a 10-person barbeque might be rejuvenating for the parent, it could be too much for your child’s brain and body to sustain without a meltdown. Gauge your child’s social stamina and allow for time to rest and recharge between functions.
Bring social opportunities to your environment: For children who have a hard time out in the community, host events at your house. You can involve your child in determining decorations, what food and drinks you should have for your guests, and what time the gathering should start. This allows your child to take pride in being a co-host for the event, teaches skills about how to host, and promotes engagement in social experience in the comfort of their environment.