At first, the thought of my brother, Alex, leaving for college was devastating for me. He has always been by my side for as long as I can remember. He has Autism and does things a little differently. He is still my brother no matter what. I helped him with things that were difficult for him like you would for your brother. We fought, played, ate, and basically did everything together. I couldn’t picture my life without him next to me.
When he started getting independent, I was afraid and worried about him being on his own. He didn’t need me as much, and maybe that was part of my worry. It is important to Alex to live by himself and go to the university, so we must support him in that goal. Not that it’s always easy to do that.
My mom worried too. She would ask him, “Who is going to cook for you in college? Who is going to clean for you in college?” She wanted him to be happy but wanted to protect him at the same time. Moms are like that. Usually, Alex just stayed quiet. Maybe he was thinking, “I will,” because look at him now. He is doing all the things she worried about by himself.
The proudest moment was when I left him in Austin. Yep, I cried in the car on the way back to the hotel, but they were tears of “proudness” if that is a word. First, my thoughts raced, “This is it, I am going to be living without my big brother, my partner in crime, my fighting buddy, my zookeeper.” When I stopped thinking about how it would impact my life, I realized how much it would affect his. That is when it stopped being devastating for me and became the best thing ever for my brother.
Looking back at the last year or two, I did feel him getting older and more independent. He had started wanting more alone time, and he wouldn’t play with me as often. But these turned out to be good things. It meant that he was getting ready for college and the adult life that he now lives. I am the luckiest brother in the world to have experienced 13 years of my life with Alex. I love you, Alex. You are making us all proud.
Emilio
