Wearing the Misfit Badge Proudly

By Kati Strong, Program Director CLE Austin

This Dr. Seuss quote has been posted in my office for at least the last half of the 6 ½ years I have had the privilege to work at CLE. It is a sentiment that hits close to home for me personally, as a frequent participant in various ‘Communities of Misfits’ such as in some of my past lives as a choir nerd, a drama geek and, for a brief period in the early 90’s, a flannel-clad, baggy-jeaned, pre-teen rebel.

One of the best parts of my work at CLE has been the camaraderie I have had the opportunity to watch develop within our student community. It is a common story for students to come to CLE who have struggled to fit in socially in the past. They may have experienced isolation from peers, avoided peer interaction altogether, or been scarred by harsh criticism and even outright bullying from people in their lives.

While it is tragic for any young person to experience these kinds of traumatic events, it is truly magical to see relationships develop and confidence blossom when young adults who want to treat others better than they themselves have been treated come together in a community like CLE. We have the privilege of observing and assisting students as they gradually shift from withdrawn and hesitant to self-assured in making new friends; from harsh self-criticism to forgiving self-care; from being ashamed of their differences to wearing their own ‘Community of Misfits’ badge proudly.

Two Truths and a Lie

In our Town Hall meeting at CLE Austin last month (a monthly gathering of all students and full-time staff), we had the opportunity to be a part of one of these community moments. In a group activity about most embarrassing moments, three staff members presented “Two Truths and a Lie” to the group. In case you’re not familiar with the game, this meant that two of us shared “fake” embarrassing stories (using our best acting skills to convince everyone they were true), and one staff member shared a real, true embarrassing story from her own life involving a trampoline. Then, by a show of hands, all of the students guessed which staff member’s story was true—and I guess our acting wasn’t too bad, because only one student guessed the true story!

Here’s where the magic of this CLE community moment really began… We opened the floor to the rest of the room, inviting small groups to come up with their own “Two Truths and a Lie” in which someone would be willing to share an actual embarrassing moment from their own past. We staff thought that maybe one student—two if we were lucky—might be open to sharing their own embarrassing moment in this room full of people. It turned out that we didn’t need to be worried at all whether students would chime in!

One brave student, along with two of his friends, kicked us off as they stepped forward and turned to face the room. We heard two fake stories, and then Zack M. shared his true embarrassing story of being a young child in attendance at his favorite teacher’s wedding and then unintentionally—and loudly— blurting out “Ewwwwwww!” when the newlyweds kissed at the end of the ceremony. In his young mind, Zack realized just too late that this was not the expected response at a wedding as everyone there started to laugh, and he felt himself growing red in the face. Unfortunately, his embarrassment didn’t stop there because there were enough others from his school in attendance at the wedding that day, so the story quickly spread and Zack heard about it many more times as he proceeded through the following week at school!

As Zack told his story from the front of the room in our CLE student lounge, we heard laughs and groans, and then afterwards when it was revealed that Zack’s story was the true one, words of support and cheers of encouragement flowed from all directions to Zack for being brave enough to share his story.

From there, at least five more students chose to stand in front of the room to share their own embarrassing moments and, had we not run out of time, it seemed the storytelling would have continued. Every student who shared a story received the same attention, respect, encouragement and positive feedback from their peers for their willingness to open themselves up in this way.

We laughed together as we heard about when Eric D. was in elementary school and his curiosity about the fire alarms at his school got the best of him, leading to a full school evacuation. Grady S. shared a troubling incident when his stray bouncy ball rolled into a girls’ bathroom, leading to an embarrassing situation for him as he tried to retrieve it. Waites B. laughingly disclosed the time one 4th of July when he accidentally caught his brother’s hair on fire (thankfully that didn’t turn out worse!) and Andrew M. and Christos P. spoke about some unfortunate embarrassing incidents from their childhoods involving unexpectedly uncontrollable body functions that caught them off-guard!

On the surface, students sharing embarrassing moments with one another may not seem like such a big deal. But when you dig just a little bit deeper, you can begin to appreciate the small—and not so small—victories that were achieved here. At CLE, we celebrate each and every step, small and large, that our students take to move toward increased ownership of their own stories and their own lives, and this amazing Town Hall meeting was no exception. We reveled in this opportunity to see our students engaged in an age-appropriate social situation, supporting and encouraging one another, and demonstrating the bravery and confidence to open themselves up to disclose embarrassing stories that didn’t paint them in the best light.

It is experiences like this in a community like ours at CLE that builds the confidence in our students that enables them to go out into the world and wear their ‘Misfit’ label proudly, as a badge of honor.