The Act of Engagement: Socials Get Easier!

By Janet Price, Director of Admissions and Outreach, CLE Rockville

Group outings can be intimidating, especially when you’re new to CLE and don’t know many people yet. While we staff frequently find ourselves reminding our students that we are not cruise directors, we do try to involve them in planning the outings and finding things that will be interesting and fun. This helps to make the hard work of understanding group dynamics and communicating collaboratively more enjoyable.

Recently I spoke with two CLE Rockville students, one who has been in the program for a year, and one who has only been here for about a month. I asked them both about their experiences with group outings, and whether they had any thoughts to share.

I asked our student who has been here for a year (who prefers to remain anonymous), “What is more important to you – where we go, or who is there with you?” He answered, “Both of those are important.”

He elaborated, “I went to the social outing this past Friday night, to the new Amazon bookstore in Bethesda and to dinner at Bibibop Asian Grill. It wasn’t very eventful, but I guess I had a good time. My girlfriend was there, and another student I enjoy talking to. I was talking to him the whole way back. Well, it was mostly me ranting, but he was being responsive.”

He went on to say, “I really like the fun outings. I loved the go-carting, and the ski trip, even though I couldn’t ski right.”

I asked whether his experiences on the CLE outings helped him make friends. After thinking it over, he concluded, “I guess, because outside of the social outings, I talk to people, too. If it wasn’t for CLE I would definitely be more isolated.”

Thomas, a newer student at CLE Rockville, explained to me that he thinks about both where the outing will be and who will be going along as he makes the decision to participate.

Thomas said, “When I look at a social event, those two qualifiers are what immediately say to me that I will guaranteed to enjoy that if I go. Obviously, it’s kind of naïve to think that for things I haven’t done yet, that I can dismiss them as something that I wouldn’t enjoy, and I guess that’s part of the whole point of socials – to explore as well as socialize.”

I asked Thomas to give me an example of a social outing he participated in that he didn’t think he would enjoy. He talked about our group volunteer activity at A Wider Circle, a charitable organization that provides household furnishings and clothing to families in need. As Thomas described, “That was a pleasant surprise. I didn’t know what to expect going in, and I didn’t think I’d enjoy myself, but it was a good opportunity for me to have a casual conversation with students and staff away from the CLE setting. Especially the staff – it was good talking to them like “normal people.” I got along with another student, it was a good first impression.”

Thomas summed it up perfectly when I reminded him that it isn’t necessarily what we’re doing, but that we’re doing it together. He observed, “The socials in themselves get people to get along better together, so future socials end up being easier to take part in – they help themselves get better at it.”